Brother, Please Don’t Apologize…

I often think.

I’m dirty,

Unsophisticated,

Stupid and wan.

Please don’t apologize

When I want to see you

Better than who you think you are.

*

Brother, please don’t apologize.

You’re a farmer

Fingernails never fully cleaned

Working beyond work.

In constant calculation and gamble

*

Go ahead, brother.

Please cry.

So much of what you do

Is not what you mean.

I know better

Please, please, please

Trust me.

*

Please don’t apologize

For your two uncut suits,

The grime on your arms,

Being late to church

Burning out the clutch on the Case tractor

*

Please don’t apologize

For the gallons of cowshit

You got into your new rubber boots.

For standing transfixed

That one night

Under the apple tree

Looking through

Your sisters upstairs bedroom window

Watching her undress

Facing west in front of her mirror

Then topless.

Pert breasts with tootsie roll nipples

Long brown hair and muscular arms.

The arms that can only be found on anyone

Who works on a farm.

Please don’t apologize.

Please don’t apologize

Please don’t apologize

That you want to go back there again and again

*

Please don’t apologize

For your grades in conduct

That you want friends

For your lack of grace

That you love the stink of cowshit around you

That others so desperately hate.