She’s an opera singer, feline and shrewd, walking towards me across the college quad.
Seemingly unattainable.
Seemingly haughty.
Seemingly self-assured.
She’s got soft brown curls rest on her shoulders.
She’s got Clara Bow lips and Maria Callas eyes.
She is out of my league.
I ask her out anyway
We go to see “The Jungle Book” at the Sherwood Theater.
Drive out into the darkness beyond Ladd’s Marina.
We park next to the Stockton Channel.
Soon we’re rutting like bears on a Pendleton blanket
On the trunk of my blue 1972 Fiat Spyder convertible.
We were rarely in the same town for long
When we were our hips met before we did.
Our fuckery was furious without compromise.
What we lacked in skill we made up with vigor.
Obsessively connected through the sometime soft muscles within our own hips
Often feeling that we had never been apart.
Often climbing into bed in a cat’s blink of an eye
Jealousies. Betrayals. So, so, so wanting.
Desperate insecurity on her part. Desperate guilt on mine
Our relationship was like having conversations with flying plates.
Our separations widened in distance and time
Causing us to become smitten fools trailing in the exhaust of each others ambitions
It’s been 2 years since I’ve last seen her.
One since my skull’s been cracked open.
I visit her on Portrero Hill.
Ken Burns “Civil War” is in the air
Dominated by the slick and sick honey of Shelby Foote’s voice.
I think I am disciplined. We can be friends now. Friendly. Respectful
By the third night the cat’s eye blinks.
Her legs are parted and demanding, demanding, demanding that I fuck her to God.
I become the Adam to her Eve.
The yang to her yin
Together we murder seraphs and angels,
Stun God,
And even make the devil blush
Our sweat is copious.
It pools in every concave of her body.
The nape of her neck.
The dimples above the dark crevasse of her ass
The trough between her breasts
Every convex of our bodies shines from the the light of the Hayes Street lamp shining through the window.
We tongue each other like cattle at a salt lick
Trying to love-squeeze each others body inside out
Then suddenly, unexpectedly, and without recourse,
I feel as if I am a woman making love to a woman.
I feel I’m Eve to her Adam.
I feel I’m yin to her yang
Unknown gates holding back nothing have unexpectedly opened to something
I become a river, water, a passage.
I pull her chest close to mine.
She comes, I feel something jump out of her heart and into mine.
Later, she sleeps, I feel my body buzzing and vibrating.
It’s like water backing up behind Hoover Dam
Asking not be stored,
Not to be held back.
All I can do is to touch my right foot to her left
To give her some of this overflow.
I think that night I became human again
