The Politic of the Slinky Fuck…

A guy can last a long time and not at the expense of a woman’s energy and effort. That said good lovin’ isn’t about kama sutra positions.

And it’s not a “erection” lasting. It’s more of a basking in the energy or riding the frequency that one feels. Again this requires the guy to “receive” rather than working for it or “holding” it which is what I think a woman feels and is what tires her out. It is only when a guy feels that “receiving” feeling that he realizes how much he is on output making love, how that can be pretty one-note. Why go for one flavor of ice cream when you can have several!

A basic belief is that a woman’s energy tends to be centered in her heart. A man’s energy tends to be centered in his penis. Consider this to be dictated by culture.

A male lover wants to bring a woman’s heart energy into her vagina. A female lover wants to bring sex energy into his heart. If the man is receiving he can focus his attention here while you pleasure him. You can also use palms/fingers and massage/sweep his skin/muscles from penis to heart while he is in these states. If woman receives, it’s reversed. Woman focuses on vagina, man massage heart energy towards vagina.

Work slow, be playful, talk, laugh, mess up, be messy. It can be easy to get clinical and serious about it.

A good model of good lovin’ for me is a slinky. Hold it in your hands and move your hands up and down. Give/receive. Give/receive. It keep swinging back and forth. For a lot of guys it’s linear. One time and then trying to slow that down as much as possible.

Energetically, this going back and forth builds energy rather than depleting it. You are literally milking it into more. Fields merge and expand and you begin to hit different frequencies, nuances of feeling and other nutella bliss-waves. There can be this back and forth between slow/sweet and down/dirty. “Sex” can take on a whole new meaning and in a very good way.

The basic play with the guy is he getting to the edge of orgasm and scaling back. Going to edge again and scaling back. Going to edge and scaling back. A rewiring or rethinking goes on. Not holding it in until coming but instead (again) milking the feeling, rise, expansion or building the wave. At some point he can begin to feel that he can be in control of the joysticks. This may happen quickly or over time.

The nuances are there to be played with and explored. What is pleasurable one day may be neutral the next. The more he explores the more he will discover and the more he will allow himself to feel. He’ll feel as if he is coming from a deeper place. You will both get to be in the lovely space of being initiator and receiver.

Going into these expanded places/spaces can be confrontational if only for the fact that we can see where “ceilings” have be constructed. Once, with a partner, there was a literal experience of being in deep state of pleasure and hearing the words, “You’re not supposed to be here.” I felt like I was burning through these words and responded back to no one else in particular,

“Yes, I am!”

Another example is this little boy and I playing the “Laughing Game.” He must have been about 7 years old and we were looking into each others eyes and just laughing. When one of us would begin to peter off, the other would pick it up and it would keep going. It went back and forth (Slinky again) soon we were laughing for laughing’s sake. It was this great high and ascending feeling. He then says to me “Is this dangerous?”

It wasn’t. Something/one had already “told” him it was. That’s the ceiling I am talking about.

My experience is that you go through these ceilings if it feels safe to do so. This gate swings both ways (male and female) There does seem to be an energetic structure to all of this. Kind of like passing through levels or being given a key to open a new door.

My theory is that a woman who gets in touch with her masculine side (or for this dialogue, is the “top”, “giver” or “initiator”) once he senses this he will go with her. You gain the man’s confidence. If there is even the slightest sense of possible “bailing out”, you will lose him. You midwife him through a portal or into a deeper orgasm, connection, frequency. He will be in the same position when he pleasures you.

With a spirit like that the man will go with you. And what you see will be pouring out, through and in you at the same time.

And when it’s time to let it rip, ride him like a horse : )

Also…..

It may be confrontational for a woman to see a man in this state of deep pleasure. Traditional roles maybe seen, questioned and threatened. Primal brain/fight-flight stuff. If anything, it’s as if you are both giving each other the key to each others temple, both personal and archetypal.

Have fun anyway. Don’t take it too serious. It’s not college. No grades : )